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They are fears that come to visit. They are the things that make me act rash, and stupid, and 13.

I�m saving information like the money I can�t. Stashed away under the bed, I�m keeping important things out. I�m leaving details, and drawing big, broad outlines of what may or may not be happening.

Because I�m afraid.

I�m afraid that you can�t like me. I�m afraid of the words that happen, spoken or other wise. I�m afraid of implications and underlying meaning. The undertones of adjectives, and possessive nouns, inactive verbs.

I�m afraid of tripping up on some trap, before I see it. I listen to the wrong song at the wrong time in the wrong place. Say things with double meanings, but you can�t see my eyes enough to tell what�s behind them.

You�re a steady puzzled voice of reason, with not enough.

I�m afraid of you. Of how your brain works, and the things that come out of it. Synchonicity. Radio stations.

I�m afraid of myself. Of how my brain works, and the places it goes.

I�m afraid we will never reach the same conclusion.

words are so cheap
but they can turn out expensive
words like conviction can turn into a sentence

8:48 p.m. - 2002-12-09


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