Index - Profile - Archives - Notes - DiaryLand - Random ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 109 How you�re feeling right now isn�t you. There�s nothing I can have that you haven�t already taken for yourself. Anything that I�ve got now, you�ll take eventually until how I�m feeling now is justified by greed. It�s not a problem until I start looking in my wallet, or my room, or my head. When I find a spare quarter, I�ll just hand it over, because I�m tired of fighting this fight. We�re in round 26, with no signs of slowing. There are thoughts waiting to get out, that get lost in the shuffle. Take a number and go for a walk. It�s going to be a while. How you�re feeling right now isn�t you. You�re the three women in my advance painting class. University of Colorado, 1996. I finished my self portrait early, and it sat there for you to steal. So you did. While I scraped by with a C, you all got A�s, because I wasn�t the next fucking big thing, because I can�t control when it comes and leaves, because I can�t follow the rules, because you took the best from me as your own. I guess it wouldn�t mattter if I did put the date on the bottom right corner, you�d take my toilet paper if you thought it was better. How you�re feeling right now isn�t you. See: Shoes. See: Hats. How you�re feeling right now isn�t you. Then it starts to feel like you rob me of my emotions. And it starts to hurt like you�ve twisted my wrist until I said you could have them. It starts to hurt, but I�ve realized you operate on guilt. This could all be funny, a comic riot if I stole something from someone else. This could all be wrapped into a pretty bow made of sterile band aids. This could be something besides what it is. How you�re feeling right now isn�t you. I want to blame the stress, and my exhausted state of mind. I want to blame my parents, and my friends. I want to blame you, and those bitches in my art class. It took me to fuck me up. How you�re feeling right now isn�t you. Just pretend I typed up a conversation about the after life here. The punch line is, �The ego is what won�t remember, and the ego is what motivates everyone any way.� 7:36 p.m. - 2002-11-20 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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