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Is evil just something you are, or something you do?

Despite everything I ever say, I am a good person.

My brother's wedding will push this family past its limits, and he doesn't care enough to take one for the team. He doesn't listen to me when I say, "Ryan. You don't want a production? You go to San Francisco and get married on Mission. You go to Tahoe, or Reno, and do it fast, before anyone knows."

Instead, he's going to piss everyone off, and say "Fuck it", and years will pass before he sees what he did wrong.

I'm so fucking tired of talking about it. Actually, I'm tired of no one caring how I am. Fucking sick of it.

I need someone to fix my CD player. And, my mouse. And the light switch. And, the door knob.

I went to a child psychologist when I was 5 because I drew crying flowers.

Everyone has daddy issues.

I would have liked to have saved all of my love for someone who deserved it.

There are people who never experience Joy. I know a few of them.

I wish I knew what I was giving you.

[I feel so sorry for my dad. I feel so sorry for you. And You. And, everyone, really. I just feel like I owe everyone something, and I've disappointed the world by not dying some tragic death at 24. God. I don't even know you, yet I owe you some debt I can't pay.]

I've been looking for deliverance for years.

2:17 p.m. - 2003-07-06


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