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I think maybe I hate you. I know I want you to go away, but if you leave then there will really be no one. As though the idea of you is enough, but I don�t want the responsibility of you. I don�t want definitive answers, yes or no, I want maybe and we�ll see. My needs have changed from years ago when all I wanted were answers, and now that I have the answer I want, I�ll throw it back in your face. Who wants something easy? Why would I take what�s handed to me? Just because it�s there?

I think maybe I love you. I know that I don�t want you to go away, but if you stay then I may go insane. I don�t want you around when I�m okay, that only proves you�re like everyone else. You need to be there when I�m finally gone, during The Breakdowns, The Meltdowns, The Fuck Everythings. My needs have changed from 5 minutes ago, and now that I have nothing, I�ll throw it in the back of my car, like I have some place to go. Who wants something that is so much work? Why would I take what means effort? Just because I can?

I feel rewarded on being so ugly

3:44 p.m. - 2002-10-24


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