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I feel mourning. I feel sorry. I feel second guessed, and I'm tired of people doubting me.

Fuck you. Fuck you and your doubts, that no one can just be, and question everything.

I'm tired of being broken down, dismantled at work. I'm tired to trying to hide my face, trying to get to the bathroom before the sobs break.

So leave me alone.

Everyone. Just. Leave. Me. Alone.

You pushed the moon. You pushed this.

Let's just let it die, like everything does.

Why does the "tough guy" come out, I wonder? Hm... is it really that hard to figure out? Gee... I can't imagine why I would need these walls all around. I can't imagine why I feel like I have to put up a front. Yeah. I can't imagine.

I'm going to feed my fear, I'm going to let it grow until it's unmanagable so I can feel normal. So I can walk away and around afraid.

I guess compared to you I don't analyze enough. I guess I don't ask enough questions? Don't dig deep enough? Maybe this three foot wading pool is as deep as I get.

I would lie to you to make this stop hurting.

10:21 a.m. - 2002-09-25


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