Index - Profile - Archives - Notes - DiaryLand - Random ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 754. I should write about where I am, what I'm doing, where I should go. Cross roads have never been my specialty. I wait and procrastinate until my choices are made for me, and then I don't have to take responsibility for what happens. It's not faith so much as stupidity. I'm trying to figure out if I'm any good. Am I good at anything? Any one thing that can guarantee a living wage or money for the children I'd like to have. I don't know. I don't know if I'm back here, or at a new hide out. I don't know if the pieces of a relationship I've made will hold up. I don't know if I'll have a job tomorrow, or not. I don't know where to move, or what my motivations will be. I don't know if I'm any good at painting, if I'm any good at writing, if I'm any good as a person. I'm working on that time of the year where massive changes take hold and move me to other things, places, people. I finished reading Doctor Zhivago, and it's making me think that there are stories in my life that aren't finished. Today, I said two things that came back to haunt me. I'm waiting for the third. 9:42 p.m. - 2003-10-19 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
||||||