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I can�t keep track of my thoughts, they scatter all over.

I am torn with hate. I wish I could give you more than this. You won�t see my eyes light up when I get excited, or my hand gestures, the nervous push of hair behind my ears.

There are always days when I want to take my computer and fling it in the street.

If you saw me, you wouldn�t know any of this is inside me. If I saw you, I wouldn�t know you had all of this inside of you. Actually, even if we slept in the same bed, we wouldn�t know. That�s where the violation occurs.

This is composed, edited, and deleted. Life is random, miscellaneous, and chance.

I wish that I was anaesthetized and sterilized

And then you wouldn�t have this evidence congealing

I�m pretty much sitting here, staring at this, knowing it�s not enough.

11:11 p.m. - 2002-08-09


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