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I wonder what other people wonder about. I think that's the draw here. That's the catch, the one liner, the ha ha.

I ain't tryin' to control your life, but, baby, I want you to do what's right.

Driving yesterday, I thought about what it's like to live life as a failure. I mean, to have truly and utterly failed at your life dream. Do you know how hard it is to wake up in the morning and realize it's over at 26? I don't know where I find the motivation. I can't honestly say that I wake up because of anything other than it's time to get up. It's a part. And, maybe, I've decided I'll just be a player in everyone else's play. My life is on hold.

I don't say that just to say something. I mean it.

Oddly enough, I still have that dream. I don't know why. I fucking failed at it. How many people have to tell you you suck before you start believing it? I love my friends, but objective they are not. Some doofus who gets paid for their opinion, now THEY are objective? And this guy, in San Francisco, he made stickers with random names on them in highlighter...

Yeah. Let's give him a show.

At the MOMA, a bobby pin sits in a plastic case, pretending it's Art. Fuck all. I'm going to start selling my underwear, or, my used hair ties. One grand a pop. Someone tell me what the bobby pin represents. I want a damn essay on WHY that is Art. What was she expressing with that? Longs Drugs has the finest selection of bobby pins? I imagine it went something like this...

Artist: Well. My motivation with the tin foil balls has gone to pot.

Manager: Try something new, baby.

Artist: Oh. Look! Someone must have lost this bobby pin! MY NEWEST SCULPTURE!

Manager: You're a genious!

Now everything is accident, or just straight out manipulation of the public's desire to accept things based on fear. I think maybe everyone who looked at that must have thought What the fuck?!? And, how many of them questioned it past that point? Maybe it was a cruel joke to all of the art students passing through.

More importantly, who gives a fuck?

11:58 a.m. - 2002-06-16


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