Index - Profile - Archives - Notes - DiaryLand - Random ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 150 I�m pretty tired of sitting here. I�m pretty bored of the same conversation in my head. I�m more and more exhausted every day that passes, and I can�t get enough sleep. I think I�ve killed off all of the excitement, because there�s no puzzle to this. I�ve come to know myself too well, and my habits have become dull. I�ve been taking the things I need from different people, and the more I think about it, the more I realize you�re just a piece that I need because I can�t see your whole. I doubt the whole exists in anyone, and it�s hard for me to think I�ll never stray, I�m always looking for everything. There�s a you for humor, and a you for thinking, a you for sex, but there is no you for comfort. Nothing comforts me any more because even when I keep the same routine, you can�t fall into it, not in the ways you did before. Some small disruption in activity has thrown the whole pattern off, and we�ve lost the groove. I don�t know if I can think the same things you think any more. I know I�m tired of thinking about it, and I want it done. I want you to be whole so I can see all of the pieces you�re missing, so I can see you�re real. I feel awful. I feel like I�m using people, and I feel like I�m not giving anything back, because no one wants the whole me. I don�t know if I�m giving the right pieces to the right people, I don�t know if the people are right. I don�t know if I�m giving too much, or not enough. I don�t know what I�m doing. With anything. I�m pretty tired of sitting here. 4:37 p.m. - 2003-01-02 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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