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I have this desire to explain my current living situation, but I don't want the sympathy that comes with it. It's usually livable during the week, but the weekends are very difficult. It would be nice to blame it on you, but that's not how this goes. Shawn will keep taking jabs at me to make himself feel better, and because I am the bad guy, I have to take them. Today, after his last one, I said this is how it is going to be. You're going to keep taking hits at me until I've had enough and I leave. I am concerned about his language with Elliott and I don't know how many times I will have to ask him to watch it. I don't feel okay with leaving them alone for a week, but since I "spend all of Elliott's waking hours outside" I'm sure they will be fine. I just don't want to be around Shawn, at all. He will not leave. I just want him to go to the movies or something, anything.
He needs to talk to someone, and he refuses. I can't help him or suggest anything, he jumps all over me. He treats me like shit for days and then expects me to be nice when he feels like it. I understand that he's hurt, but fuck. There's nothing I can do. I don't think that even if I had made a different decision that this would be different. I miss my complacency.

11:17 a.m. - 2013-01-26


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