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114

Pick me up
From the bottom
Up to the top, love
Everyday

God. God. God. GOD.

I am now officially going to be home alone for a month, and even possibly longer.

I should be excited, plotting the ruin of what�s left of my already weak morals. I should be calling all of my one friends and planning parties for every weekend from now until December 20th. I should be arranging drinking, and eating, and screwing.

Instead I�m just sitting here in a quiet little panic.

I haven�t lived alone in 5 years.

Pay no mind to taunts or advances
Take my chances on
Everyday

I know now that the only way I will make a progression with my life is to just pick up and take off. There cannot be a plan involved, plans involve mistakes, and if you�ve got no plan then you can�t really, seriously, fuck up. The plan is no plan, the plan is to stay here until the lack of plan surfaces and I break.

Left to right
Up and down
I push up love love
Everyday

I lose my stuff. I lose my joy, everything that means everything is gone, and I walk around in a haze with nothing. I forget to not give a fuck. To really and truly give myself over to not caring about tomorrow. I can�t remember that I need to be happy now, because if I died unhappy, I could never forgive myself.

It�s time.

First order of business tomorrow:

Dancing naked.

What you�ve got
Lay it down on me

Yes. Fuck. Everything.

7:30 p.m. - 2002-11-25

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