Index - Profile - Archives - Notes - DiaryLand - Random ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 114 Pick me up God. God. God. GOD. I am now officially going to be home alone for a month, and even possibly longer. I should be excited, plotting the ruin of what�s left of my already weak morals. I should be calling all of my one friends and planning parties for every weekend from now until December 20th. I should be arranging drinking, and eating, and screwing. Instead I�m just sitting here in a quiet little panic. I haven�t lived alone in 5 years. Pay no mind to taunts or advances I know now that the only way I will make a progression with my life is to just pick up and take off. There cannot be a plan involved, plans involve mistakes, and if you�ve got no plan then you can�t really, seriously, fuck up. The plan is no plan, the plan is to stay here until the lack of plan surfaces and I break. Left to right I lose my stuff. I lose my joy, everything that means everything is gone, and I walk around in a haze with nothing. I forget to not give a fuck. To really and truly give myself over to not caring about tomorrow. I can�t remember that I need to be happy now, because if I died unhappy, I could never forgive myself. It�s time. First order of business tomorrow: Dancing naked. What you�ve got Yes. Fuck. Everything. 7:30 p.m. - 2002-11-25 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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