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I guess... I guess this is what I would have felt like if I had found all of those years ago, back in 1994 when it could have made a bigger difference.

I actually cried. I ran around the house, looking for someone to call. I circled and sat back down.

I guess it makes sense, maybe. I noticed all of the albums that were coming out in the last 2 years, couldn't figure out why, all of the sudden, someone that spent years and years between making something and not just suddenly has 3 or 4 albums I don't have. And then, I read one of the reviews, and went to the website... and he's gone. Just... gone. Been gone, and I didn't know.
...

Chris,

In some way, it feels right that I should find out on Christmas Eve. God knows I haven't been leaning on you like I did, or should, recently. To find all of the words I could never find, to match them so perfectly to the movement you made. You gave that back to me today.
I'm happy, no... elated, that I had the opportunity to see you live, in what I imagine now would have been one of your last shows in California, and that it was in the city I loved so much. Thank you.
Thank you for all of the long nights, for all of the lonely drunk days when it was you and I, and the heat on the porch. Thank you for the sunsets, and the twisting miles. Thank you for making me believe that something special could have happened in Montana. Thank you for To Joy, Little Torch (this is mine), Big Sky Country, and Look What Love Has Done. Thank you for moving me in ways that so very few have been able to do.
Fuck.
I really wish I told you all of this when I was outside smoking a cigarette and you were standing 5 feet away.

Love,
Carie

PS - If you're hanging out with Jeff somewhere, could you give him a kiss for me?

Here.

9:10 a.m. - 2005-12-24

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