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Let this be a lesson to you.

This morning, I sat in my car, 20 minutes early to work, as usual, drinking coffee, smoking and listening to music. I thought I couldn't make it through the week, with that 20 minutes being the only joy I was to have for 9 hours. And, I was afraid. I was so fucking scared, as everyone filed out for lunch, I stepped into HR's office, handed him my time card, and told him I wasn't coming back.

Then. Right then, when he started with his questions, I knew I was doing the right thing. Then. I wasn't afraid any more.

And, more then hating my job, more than hating my boss, more than being completely bored at work, the reason I quit was because I was afraid.

So, I stayed for a minute to talk to Sam, and then left, still shaking. Went to my dad's, played on his computer, then started home.

I pulled into the driveway, grandma was watering the lawn.

"I've got something to tell you. Will you turn that water off?"

"Sure. What is it?"

"Wait until I get inside", she says, shuffling up the stairs.


"You had some lady call with a job offer."

"Hahaha!! That's really funny, grandma. I just quit my job."

"Well. Here's her number. The job's in West Sac."

. . .

I have an interview tomorrow.

. . .

I didn't want to type out the story, but there are too many people I wanted to tell, because there are too many people who don't love what they're doing, or where they are, or who they're with. And, I may be miserable, and lonely, and aimless.

But, my timing is getting better.

And I have balls of fucking steel.

5:01 p.m. - 2003-07-21


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