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She said Good Bye, so many times before.

It's alright, baby.

I've been saying good bye to you for days. I licked the blood off of the new cut on my hand. It didn't taste like the iron it should have, but more like the lotion I put on this morning, dirt, and sweat.

What I told him, I tried to live up to. But no one wants to fuck twenty seven year olds, not unless they've got something going for them. And the only thing I've got is nothing.

I'm in the red. Negative. Over drawn. I'm walking with a limp, my right hip feels out of place. And, pain there means Neglect.

So, I'll call my mommy, and instead of crying, I'll try to tell her everything will be okay. I'll rub this cut, smoke a bowl, and make my stinky body fall asleep.

Eventually, I'll convince myself it's not me, I'm a good person, these waking nightmares will end.


6:49 p.m. - 2003-07-17


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