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I'm a rabbit in your headlights.

This is my self destruction,

fucking jesus, can't you see, all of this is gone and done and killing me, though slowly, like a freeze framed fall through glass, though it will take me years to do what God has undone, and it doesn't matter at the end of the day, sure, I'll be fine tomorrow, but tomorrow is never now, and now is when everything should happen, instant fucking gratification, is what I want, and I don't care if this is how I get it, neither should you, because wrecking yourself, isn't cool, or hip, it is, and this is what we do, slowly or quickly, I was never meant to be past 21, ever, or 8, no matter, I'm so fucking far behind, you don't come to visit, and I hate you just as much as you hate me, fuck cute, I hate cute, I want to be beautiful, like everyone else, though I'd settle for passable, beauty from 10 feet, instead of everyone needing this magnifing glass to see my pores, sweating,

I don't believe in anything but pain.

8:18 p.m. - 2003-07-14


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