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You can expect no help from your brain.

This is here because I had no words yesterday, and if I could have, I would have. Have posted pictures of everything I saw, yesterday.

Ah ha! Yes! It is read, and re-read, you know I have to copy and paste it? Because I can't read it where it is. So, it's read. And you know, how I dig too deep, and scratch too hard, and uncover something I never wanted to know. Though, through my seeking, you'd think I did.

But no. I swear. I'm only looking, expecting not to find. Always, What's the harm? As my bra bites into the sensitive spot between breast and arm pit. What's the harm?

And, goddamn you fucking 20, 21, 22, and 23 year old women. You're fucking dumb, to be throwing these perfectly good boys away. And, yes, I actually thought, A La Jerk, throwing a perfectly good white boy away. But you'll never learn from my words, I did the very same thing.

So maybe it's not my standards that have dropped. Maybe I've just become able to deal with people, or annoying habits, or anything, really. And of my true love(s), I should count them false. Of my true loves, the two, nothing ever bothered me about them. No little habit rubbed my nerves raw.

But, I'm bored with that subject, and I've nothing else to say. Except I'm so tired of imaginary boys, and words. I can't have a relationship without the words anymore. Haven't in years. I need the words. I wonder if that's wrong.

I know now that everyone will always be afraid of me. He is right, you know. I am fire.

7:30 p.m. - 2003-07-07


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