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Home. I never want to leave.

I want to write this story down, because this is the turning point of my life. This is the day that I flipped my world on its ass, the day I was still sad, but the day I found people like me.

Last night.


We pulled up to the curb of a very happening bar, The Monkey Bar. Everyone was beautiful, and perfect, and I looked at Sam and said, "Let's go somewhere else."


So, we walked. Being downtown, I figured it wouldn't be long before we found some hole in the wall. We passed two guys getting out of their SUV. One said, "I like the one with the ass." Me. The other, "I'll take the blonde." Sam.

We kept walking.

And walking.

Until we happened upon the bar we ended up at. Which, will go nameless, because I'm keeping it for myself to ruin.

And so, we went in, took stools from the bar, ordered a drink, and told our story to the bartender. And, told our story to the band that was first up. And, told our story to the big black dude from my old neighborhood in Oakland.

So, we got drunk. But, everyone there was cool. I kissed some poor guy on the neck, but he didn't seem to mind. I played with some guy's hair, and he made purring noises. I fell in love with the one guy that moved while he played guitar, except I wasn't feeling daring enough to say anything to him. I expected him to come to me, but he didn't.

Sam wanted to take the sound guy home as a pet, but her boyfriend showed up, so she couldn't. He offered to make us mac and cheese for breakfast, and he had the softest skin on his arms.

The door man, I gave cigarettes. And they now call me Chain Link Fence Smoker.

I had fun. Fun. With people I didn't know. And, I felt like I had finally come home to the California I remembered, with the boys and the booze and the music and the warm wind kicking up at midnight. Drunk, smoking cigarettes sitting on the curb, looking at the stars.

4:53 p.m. - 2003-07-04


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