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Because grandma isn't home, I answered the phone.

It was my cousin. Collect. From prison.

He was supposed to get out this month, but he got in a fight, so, he's there until August.

And, I feel some how responsible, that he's there, like I didn't talk to him enough when we got older, didn't give him the right information to keep him on the straight and narrow... or, as straight as my path has been.

He's always been my favorite cousin. He was a unit, too, he and his brother.

So, yeah. My cousin is in prison for forging prescriptions. The story is funny. I mean, as funny as getting thrown in prison can be. He made me laugh, really hard, twice.

"Shit. I gotta go. It's time for counts."

"Alright."

"Tell Granny I love her. And, tell your dad I love him. And, tell your brother I love him."

"Okay. I love you, Chad."

"I love you. Bye."

It was the first time I've talked to him in five years, and the first time I'd ever said those words to him.

I've felt like crying all day. Just everything coming down around me, and nothing to hold on to.

Nothing to hold on to.

PS - I'd like to rip Mike Tyson's dick off and shove it down his throat.

5:30 p.m. - 2003-06-21

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