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What I Want For My Birthday; Version 27.

Yes, yes folks. It's that time of year again. My birthday will be here in just 5 short days. May 21st for those of you who are number impaired.

So, because I'm bored, and waiting for an email that will never come, I'm going to compose a long list of the things I would like for my birthday.

Please bare in mind, these are all things I will not receive.

Here we go...

1. Break up sex with Prolific.
2. Car insurance.
3. A smog certificate for the Fiend Mobile.
4. My cat to quit barfing all over my room.
5. New pajama bottoms.
6. An eternity of strong finger nails.
7. This french manicure to last forever.
8. A lighter that will always light.
9. A free cell phone, including free unlimited talk time with a never ending battery.
10. A new set of hips. And, thighs. And, ass.
11. This cold sore to go away.
12. A dream in which I see every ex-whatever suffering extraordinary pain.
13. Approximately 3 hours of making out every Friday and Saturday night.
14. A pipe with a full bowl.
15. Oral sex on demand.
16. An order of south western egg rolls and a margarita with Liz.
17. A nice boyfriend.
18. A new computer.
19. A vacuum cleaner.
20. A video game that never ends.
21. A never ending supply of Coke and Marlboro Reds.
22. An extended vacation.
23. My mom to be happy.
24. A functioning brain.
25. A 2 carat diamond solitare, emerald cut.
26. A house on the coast.
27. To see 28.

5:55 p.m. - 2003-05-15

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