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There's more control in giving it up.

I don't talk about it, because it's sick and wrong. But, it is what it is, which is surprising, given my history of abuse. It was there before anything bad ever happened to me.

I'm not the type of person who needs to be submissive in order to get off. And, I'm not the type of person to ask for it. It just happens.

It happens when someone sees it in me. I don't know how, I don't wear whips and chains, I don't advertise, maybe that's the draw. And maybe that's the thing, the clinch, that there really is something dark under my skin.

Because this isn't the type of thing you discuss with a potential boyfriend. There's no debating bite marks and bruises.

You just pray he grabs you by the back of the head and whispers in your ear

You dirty bitch...

8:14 p.m. - 2003-05-12

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