Index - Profile - Archives - Notes - DiaryLand - Random ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Filed Away. Taking back my ultimatum makes me feel a bit pathetic, but better. It ate at me the entire time I was out, and I'm glad I could withdraw my last entry. I finished The Shoes, and as I was walking back to the studio to put away my clean brushes, the sun finally burned through the little bit of cloud cover and lit up the yard. And, I felt bad. I felt awful. For the first time, I had empathy for him. Because I felt good and complete, and I was walking somewhere, and I could drive off if I felt so inclined. I had my choice of places to go, and things to accomplish. I regained the feeling I've held onto for so long, that's worked its way into my wishes for him, and many other people, only a handful have taken for themselves. Not pity, but just a very stong wish for everyone to experience true freedom at least once. Yesterday and early today, I was angry. I know myself well enough to know those feelings always pass quickly, I can't help but act rashly for them. That is its nature. I did what I needed to do in order to feel better, work on something to completion. And, I don't want to walk into next week with this hanging still in the back ground. 11:50 a.m. - 2003-04-06 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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