Index - Profile - Archives - Notes - DiaryLand - Random ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- 40 Days I remember the few times we went to the grocery store, and how little fun it was. That he kept 5 dollar cookies for an entire week without eating them all. My grandmother's dentures slip when she eats and make weird sounds. I don't notice, usually. Today I noticed. I know my cat loves me because he sleeps on top of my shoes and when I get home from work, he tries to bury himself in my lap. It's 3 to 4 cigarettes to get home. Depending on traffic. When I get scared, it's because I'm afraid soon you'll become faceless, and I'll be ashamed my brain can't conjure it any more. I hear How's it going in a Tori Amos voice from Venus and Back. I've already lost my sense of smell, where you're concerned. I don't want to win the argument, I simply want to understand why. If any of them asked me back, I would say No. The birds flocking around you make me nervous, it's true. I can't expect them to understand anything that passes outside of this box, or your box. The lowest of women don't care. And I don't have much faith in people these days. My insecurities are unattractive. So the circle closes. Feel ugly, feel ugly about feeling ugly, close the gap. I sat at my desk today typing, having a waking dream about being held, and it felt to close I nearly died. Because someone asked about you today, and I told the story. What she said after was, "You cried for two days?" 6:09 p.m. - 2003-03-27 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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