Index - Profile - Archives - Notes - DiaryLand - Random ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- God Knows. I sometimes wonder if it's even worth it to bag my anger and replace it with shame. Because, that's what I do. I become angry, lash out, get put on the back burner, and though I seem to calm down, it just waits until it's hot enough to boil over again. I'm just fuming, cooking my insides until they're done enough to spew. It's all the little things. Ripples in the quiet rituals I keep, stupidity, and judgment. Sometimes I work against myself, judging myself. Sometimes it's the tone, the push off, the time. But I've stopped being resentful. I haven't stopped hating. I thought I stopped caring, but I didn't. It's all I can do to keep my mouth shut and my tongue clicking softly. I hate my hate, even. It's shameful to give something that much energy. I can't keep counting the days. The time I covet, you will not give me. My email is non fuctioning, please send mail to [email protected] 6:19 p.m. - 2003-03-25 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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