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Right after I finish this one.

I feel like I'm settling, so this butterfly feeling is in my chest, making me want to run away crying as fast as I can.

I can't convince myself that going to work is harmless, that I will not be hurt by being away from the house for 10 hours, that I can do this and still do other things.

But my eyes are burning from my cigarette smoke, and my stomach is churning, and my hands are shaking.

When I don't want to do something, it's not as simple as saying I don't want to. Something tells me I'm neurotic.

7:01 a.m. - 2003-03-17

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