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On a bus.

Come away with me in the night
Come away with me
And I will write you a song

I know that you should always leave your online friends for real life. I know that you should never pass up having fun with breathing people for people you can't touch. I know that seeing and touching is more important than hearing.

But, I thought I wasn't online any more, to any one. I thought I was past that and beyond it. I thought the point of the phone was to pretend I could see you, and touch you.

So I'm back in the place where I feel like I've been taken off track, set 500 miles back down the road. I'm back to feeling unimportant, and this is the cycle of a pretend long-distance relationship without expectations, without commitment, because there are no answers.

And I want to pull away again. Because it hurts too much to admit to staying awake this long. Because I don't know when you're coming home, or who you're with. And now, it really doesn't matter. Because you weren't there yesterday, and the news was stale and used air. I didn't really feel like telling you, because I had told the story 50 times by then, it's never as good as the first time.

I know this is venting tonight, it will change tomorrow, maybe. I don't know.

I just know I'm sick of being second because I'm invisible.

12:12 a.m. - 2003-03-02

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