2003-04-09 @ 5:38 a.m.
Acceptable reason(s) for not calling when you say you're going to call:
1) You're dead.
Acceptable reason(s) for not sending an email in which you apologize for not calling:
1) You're dead.
2) A band of goblins made their way into northern Washington State and took clubs and axes to your computer. And, to everyone else's computer in a 10 mile radius.
Acceptable reason(s) for continuing to say you'll call, but only calling about 75% of the time:
None.
. . .
Why God Hates Me, Reason #16,283:
I started my period 2 weeks early.